Rage, suspiscion, grrr!!!

It would seem all too fitting that my first post would be about such things. So my babies mother(baby-mama)is back to talking to her X. Who is a complete douche-bag. She went and got a DV(that's domestic violence) against him and had my family and I help her move out of his apartment. Things have been going pretty well. Her and I have been talking and cordial with each other, more than just corddial, we've been pretty good. Better than we have been for years. And of course, this makes me hopeful of a possible future. My Achilles heart. This will become more evident to those who read my shite in time.
And now, not even 2 and 1/2 months later she is back talking to him again and being shady with me... Grrrr!!! The problem is that once shady things begin to occur my mind scares up all manner of atrocities and betrayals that are being done to me behind my back. The thing is, our daughter is involved too. She pulls the card that his daughters miss my daughter and so does he, blah, blah, blah... Well you should've thought about that dumbass-douche-bag-little-dicked-mother-fucka!!! I'm sorry(Well not really). But I have NO, absolutely NONE, sympathy for anyone who yells and screams and causes a ruckus with MY baby-mama while MY daughter is around.
As far as I am concerned, he does not deserve to know MY daughter. I know right, possessive much? When it comes to MY daughter you are Gawd-damn right. So right now, my mind is doing it's racy racy crazy crazy and I am pissed. Inevitably I will, or better(Grrrr)talk to her tomorrow and get her explanation for avoiding me. Hopefully my crazy will be tuned down by then and I can believe her. But seriously... I am close to being on my last nerve... I do not deal with hurt and heart-ache well. Ask anyone who knows me, well figuratively. I either go into RAGE mode or RUN mode. Call it a product of a fuct up past. But there it is. My first post. Not about flowers and fluffy bunnies. About rage and anger. Cut down the fucking flower and KILL the bunny, mwah ah ah... Had to end with something that at least made ME laugh...

Peace,

fer now... (to be continued)

~L